Hello beautiful people!
If you follow what I'm up to as far as my social media, you might have some kind of idea as to what I have been up to lately. The world seems to be a dark place to live in right now, and some days it's hard to find any of the light, and I promise, this isn't another cliche "keep your head up amidst all the darkness" posts, but I am here to encourage that if you look, and I mean really look, you'll find the cracks where the light finds its way to you. The silver linings.
I graduated from Penn State this past May. And, honestly, I thought that I would have more of my sh*t together once I graduated college. You grow up and adults teach you that you'll graduate college with a degree, and you'll be set for the world and confidently headed into the direction of your dreams. (Maybe, you're one of the lucky few.) I, however, was rudely awakened when I realized I was even more confused with a Bachelor's degree in my hand than I was without it.
I think it was something I was so unprepared for. The concept of being an "adult". The "real world". When you're a kid, you want so badly to be an adult. I wanted so badly to be one of those "older kids" that I am now when I was a teenager. I am an adult, but somehow still feel like a teenager. Does that feeling ever kick in...the "adult" feeling? What makes you an adult?
I was terrified approaching my graduation date. I thought it was more of the fact that I would miss my life at Penn State every day for the rest of my life (and while not particularly untrue), the truth is, I had the best times of my life at Penn State but I always knew I couldn't be there forever, no matter how badly I would love to. The fear was/is: who am I without the shield of Penn State? Who will I be? What will I do now that I won't be a student? What if I'm not ready for that yet?
To be blunt, I wasn't. I'm not. I've decided that's okay. So, I'm on a road to continued self-discovery. I applied and enrolled to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles, California in pursuit of my MBA in Fashion set to begin in July 2020. Finally! A plan! Right?
Kinda.
While I was making my own plans, the universe was working on its own. Along came a global pandemic. A new normal. I was beginning to arrange my big move at the end of June before the world seemed to turn upside down.
Six months of the 12-month program, for now, will be conducted remotely. I was sad. Moving back to LA has been something I have been talking about since we first moved to New Jersey 15 years ago. I was bursting at the seams about it. I was excited to be an "adult" on my own.
But what could I do about it? I gave myself the appropriate time to sulk about it, but I had to wake myself up. There are people in the world suffering through bigger hardships at the hands of this virus. California isn't going to go anywhere. It'll always be there for me when the time is right.
And, just when I thought I was back into that little area of darkness and confusion, the light made its way to me. I found my silver lining.
Yoga has been my obsession, passion and safe haven for the past few years now. I have fallen in love with the way it has helped me grow in every aspect of my mental, physical and spiritual awakenings. I have fallen in love with the way it continues to teach me to fall in love with myself.
I dream of passing onto others this practice the way the amazing teachers in my life have; a few years back, I asked one of my favorite instructors at my studio about yoga teacher training. (My studio offers a Baptiste Power Vinyasa training program, but the schedule never seemed to align with mine.) I always thought that one day I would travel to another country to complete my training.
One day always turns to some day and some day quickly turns into never. This isn't a passion I was ready to let collect dust on a shelf that one day I would look back on and wish I was more proactive.
So, at 21, I am simultaneously earning my MBA in Fashion and completing a 200-hour yoga teacher training at my favorite yoga studio with that same teacher who gave me advice a few years ago. My teacher training is a hybrid of online and in-person, outdoor trainings (adhering to the social-distancing guidelines, of course).
I just completed my first week of classes for both areas of my life, and I cannot believe it has only been a week. I have already learned so much, and cannot wait to share and apply the knowledge. Sometimes the original plan doesn't always happen accordingly, and a better one follows its tail.
I'd like to go back to that word I mentioned earlier: adult. I'm 21 quickly approaching 22 and I have never felt more like a kid in my life. I decided that no one really knows what truly makes a person an adult. Is it defined by the amount of responsibilities you take on?
I've decided that being an adult is making the brave decisions that scare you. The decisions that absolutely terrify you. The same ones that make you stronger. The ones that offer you the room for growth. That's exactly what I plan to do. To navigate bravely through my fears and dreams.
So maybe I'm doing the "adult thing," but I still feel like a kid at heart. And that's something I hope we all never lose. I think it's a blessing to always keep the childhood spirit at heart. The latter is to take life too seriously and dim the colors of the world around you.
And what a boring way to live.
Find your silver lining and the light will continue to shine so much so that you forget there was ever even a time of darkness.
Xx.
-LP
(PS: I'll be uploading more frequently on topics specific to fashion and yoga. If you have any questions at all about my journey for the sake of your own or just curiosity, I'd love to help.)